If I couldn't play chess...

I'd kill myself
I'd take up magic
I'd get drunk
Sit at home and read about chess
I'd promote it instead
I'd calculate Pi to one hundred trillion places
I'd find a real job
I wouldn't care. There's always the beach
 

Describe your thoughts on women.

I've never kissed a girl
My only girlfriend is the Queen
Women belong at home; cooking and cleaning
I'm happily married
I only wish I could find a girl as smart as I am
I'm gay
Love is nothing more than a biological survival mechanism. That's what Freud said
Ladies love me
 

Describe your favorite opening.

The King's Gambit or KID. Pretty much anything with 'King' in it
Queen's Gambit
Alekhine's Defence
The Four Knights Opening
d4
Let me check what MCO says
a3
e4

How do you like to spend a Saturday night?

At home studying the middlegame
Simultaneous exhibitions
Drunk off'n my ass
At home. Asleep
Polishing my trophies and checking out my reflection
Predicting weather patterns
Playing speed for quarters
At a bar, surrounded by beautiful women

How do you win most games?

Most? I've never lost a game because I play perfect chess
A sac--whether sound or not--usually gives me an advantage
Tactics, tactics, tactics
I love to take space and slowly crush my opponent to death
My rating usually beats my opponent before we even get to the table
Brute force calculation
What they call 'luck', I call 'psychology'
With clear, positional chess

What's your favorite chess book?

The Collected Games of Alexander Alekhine
Vukovic's Art of Attack in Chess
Nimzovich's Chess Praxis
MCO
The Autobiography of Garry Kasparov
I can't read
Traps and Zaps
There are books about chess?

What are your thoughts on the ending?

Opening, middle, end. It's all the same game to me
I hate it but, fortunately, I seldom see it
You have to play it so you may as well play it well
Bring it on
Boring!
I know it inside out
The what now?
It's kind of fun

You're famous...

for beating the filthy Russians
as a chess playing 'devil'
for playing drunk
...actually, no one but my mother recognizes me
as the People's Champ
for the way I handle the clock
for playing badly but still winning in the end
as Cuba's most eligible bachelor

 

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