There are a handful of changes and a new review at Squeaky Clean!
Check it out!
1/26/03. Canada, please bring back the one
dollar bill!
My pockets are
straining!
George
Lucas is nothing but a man-pie who better smarten up real quick and give someone
else the chance to direct Episode III (Circle of the Force? It should be
called 'Free to all those who sat through I and II'). The
best Stars Wars movie
ever was The Empire Strikes Back, a film directed by Irvin Kershner--without CGI
effects of any kind! George, you've turned into the X-Box of movie making:
great graphics but no fun factor. Yeah,
Episode II was fun in parts but other parts made me cringe in embarrassment.
And
Episode I...well...I'll be eating dogshit before I see that again. At
any rate, please George, this is your last chance; don't ruin this for me.
Here are some rumors about what will happen in Episode III.
I'm sure some are fake. They're rumors. Warning: Spoiler
alert!
-Grando Calrissian--Lando's dad--complete with a black
lightsaber. I'm not sure if the black lightsaber is a joke or not
but I'll believe anything at this point.
-A CGI Admiral Ackbar (How much do you want to bet he says 'It's a trap.'? while
playing Mousetrap or fixing his sink?)
-Han Solo at 12 years old. Chewie will also appear as a small egg of some sort
I'm sure.
-The Millennium Falcon makes a cameo. Probably will be shown in a junkyard
and Han will walk by looking at it wistfully, checking in his wallet to see if
he's saved enough spacebucks.
-Cameo from some sort of an X-Wing prototype. They'll probably show ET
piloting it or something.
-Anikan and Obi Wan battle on a lava planet and Anikan falls into the lava and
gets burned by the lava. He's then rushed to Coruscant where he's put back
together all cyborg-y. Everything from the waist down is burned up and his
face too. This one is almost a guarantee.
-The final scene consists of Darth Vader pulling on his helmet. This one
too is pretty much a gimme. It was news in the 70s.
Ah well. We all know it will suck the donkey's ass.
As far as I'm concerned, there are three Star Wars movies. It'll take a
lot of good shit in III to make me change my mind.
1/24/03. I changed the song
in the jukebox. HOORAY!
1/23/03. What is the United States to do? It seems that the
French
aren't in the mood for a war with Iraq because, according to Chirac, "war
always means failure." lol. Maybe for you! Lissen up,
you Francies, maybe if the Pentagon needs an opinion on truffles or
techniques on avoiding soap, then they'll give you a shout. But when it
comes to war, shut your dirty traps and toe the line. Idiots. Do you
remember World War I and II? Two world wars in the history of civilization
and you were the laughing stock of both. When are you going to learn?
You're a bunch of nancyboys.
1/22/03. What is the
weather like in Hamilton right now?
Hokey Smokes! Can you believe it? Chessthecat.com is
ranked 3,969,327 by
alexa.com!
Wow! That means there are less than four million sites with more traffic
than mine. lol.
Tournament of Stuff is back with a
new tourney.
Get over there and vote!
Fun! I've added a white board to the site. It's called the
Situation Room. Play games like chess or checkers with other users, draw,
and chat! You can find it under either the
Fun section or under
Content. Or by clicking
here.
1/20/03. Freezingwarm and I have added our
first reviews to
Squeaky Clean
Reviews. Why not check 'em out?
1/19/03. Well thanks to those who
submitted a request for a
Squeaky Clean Review! I've posted your names on the Waiting list and
the reviews should be up tomorrow! Thanks for your support!
1/18/03. Unfortunately, Goreygirl of
Goreygirl.net has decided
to pack in her website. I was a big fan of her site and her button was one
of the first on my buttonwall. Well, your loss is...your gain because
Goreygirl has graciously given me
Squeaky Clean
Reviews to host here at chessthecat.com! I have only made a
couple of changes to the scoring system but other than that it's the same site.
So please check out the reviews and give me your
feedback.
SimCity
4 was released on Tuesday. I picked it up on Sunday because
Electronics Boutique was breaking street date and was selling it in some places
as early as Friday. If you are a fan of the franchise you'll love
SimCity 4. That is if you can get it to run on your machine. I
found that despite meeting all requirements and recommendations, this game still
lags a bit on my system. I'm starting to think it's DirectX 9.0 which is
full of bugs and is of course uninstallable. And you wonder why my next
machine will be a Mac? Anyway the depth of this game is incredible as are
the graphics. You can see people walking on the sidewalks and kids playing
in a busted fire hydrant. You can get closer to the street in this version
than any of the older versions.
And you'll need to because this Simcity shifts the focus from governing
globally to governing locally. Most services now have local funding
options for example. If you build a fire hall out in the boonies you can
decrease funding on that station only to save some cash. You have to keep
an eye on things like what kinds of cars are in people driveways and if they
have a pool or an outhouse in their backyard. You fix neighbourhoods and
the city will take care of itself.
A 'God' mode has been added with lots of new terraforming tools, disasters
(even cooler is that you can now steer your disasters. Drop in a tornado
and steer it right into some dude's house!) , and the ability to set a day/night
cycle so it gets dark in your city. I haven't built up my city very much
yet but I can't wait to see what a metropolis will look like at night.
Other than the God mode is the new MySim mode. This is probably the
coolest feature of the game. If you have played the Sims you can import
your Sim into your city or you can create one from scratch from within SimCity
4. Once you've placed your Sim into your city, he'll find a job. You
can then check in on him to see what he thinks of his commute to work, the
pollution in your city and stuff like that. Very cool.
Anyway, if you're a fan of the series, then this is pretty much a no-brainer:
buy this game. But since the game has changed so much and there are so
many new features I'd recommend a strategy guide to get the most out of it.
1/16/03.
Is the Universe Random?
1/14/03. I just read an
article posted on
Fark
that said that Arizona has recommended declaring that a pregnant woman who uses
drugs is committing child abuse. A lot of people were spouting off in the
forum about how "It's about time" and "Why wasn't this done earlier?"
I can easily answer that: In our culture abortion is acceptable. It
seems to me that there is a major contradiction here. On one hand a woman
has a choice to do whatever she likes with 'her body' which includes killing her
unborn child but now a court has come in and said that you can't abuse the same
unborn child. So let's see: killing it ok; abusing it a big
no-no. I'm dying to know where pro-choice and women's groups stand on this
issue. It seems to me that they'd have to fight this law and fight for a
woman's choice whether or not to smoke, drink, or shoot crack while pregnant.
After all, to pro-choicers it's not a child, it's just a clump of cells or a
lump of meat until it's born. If you're pro-choice, you can't
dispute this; you have to take up the banner today and fight for the right
of pregnant crack whores to birth deformed babies. You've dug yourself
into a bit of hole. Jerks. And yes, I'm pro-life. I say
if you can't afford to have a kid then don't have one. Easy as pie.
This year it's
estimated that up to two dozen people will buy the Microsoft X-box Home Gaming
System. Once they get it home they'll realize that they spent $300 on a
console with only one fun game and that weighs as much as a cinder block.
When the hard drive first crashes and the buggy software causes the CPU to light
up, they'll wonder where it all went wrong. And as they try to reach their
little hands across the mile- wide controller they'll imagine how angry Mom and
Dad will be when they find out that little Johnny wants to sell this boat anchor
and buy a Cube. But you can help! Please join my 'Friends don't let
friends buy Xbox' campaign and let's start the healing today.
Finally, some
common sense regarding the separation of church and state in the United
States. For those of you who don't know what that is, the US Constitution
simply states that the government shall not establish a national religion.
That's all it says. The Founding Fathers didn't want there to be a Church
of America like there was a Church of England. End of story. Somehow
liberals think that means that the government must erase all religion from the
public arena. S'funny because the Constitution guarantees Freedom of
Religion. What's even better is when Canadians spout off about separation
of church and state when we have no such article in our watered-down
Constitution. You know what I'm talking about: Canadians weighing in
on the Pledge of Allegiance kerfluffle regarding the phrase "One Nation, Under
God." All of a sudden, Canadians were in my face telling me that church
and state must be separate; not understanding the meaning behind the phrase and
not even knowing that Canada has no such policy. To add insult to injury,
nine times out of ten these people are the very same who say that the US should
stay out of everyone's business. Yet when they want to criticize American
domestic policy it's game on. You can't have it both ways. And
please, do everyone a favor and shut your damned pie holes; the last thing
I need to hear about is what a Canadian thinks the Americans should be doing
with their country. That's like Red Rooster telling Vince McMahon how to
run the WWE. They've already kicked everyone's ass! They don't need
help from anybody. Take a look around!
1/13/02. The Sabres are
bankrupt.
1/12/03. Crikey! I just saw my
webpage on another browser that I guess was configured differently and I
couldn't believe how badly it looked. I just want to show for the record
what I see when I load my page.
Basically there's nothing else I can do for you. What am I supposed to do?
Have separate pages for AOL, Netscape, IE, Mozilla, people with screen
resolutions of 800x600, 1024x786, 1250x960, fixed fonts, forced fonts etc.
etc.?? Bah. WWW. What a joke. Gutenburg's
books are still read and understood by people today. Publishing to the Web
is so primitive compared to paper and ink.
1/11/03.
Wow!
Metroid Prime for the Gamecube
is one of the finest damned games I've ever played. I was wary at first
because it was first person and I can't stand playing an FPS without a mouse
but it's not an FPS; it's an FP adventure and it truly rocks.
Not many
people know this but the Cube GPU is actually faster and more advanced than
PS2's. And why not? The Cube came out after PS2 but I guess people
aren't that bright overall. Anyway, play this game and you'll see first
hand what the GC is capable of. The graphics are UNREAL! They're
absolutely beautiful. When Samus' mask gets fogged up or rain drips down
it your mouth will just be left hanging open because it looks so good. The
game runs at 60 FPS without even a hint of lag.
But this is a Nintendo game and Nintendo is the ONLY console maker that knows
that
great
graphics do not make a great game on their own.
True to the Nintendo
style this game is loaded with FUN FACTOR! You'll be quickly immersed
in--and addicted to--this game. Somehow Nintendo has managed to perfectly
transfer Metroid from 2D to 3D. You're jumping platforms, morphing into
the ball, using elevators, fighting bosses, but it's FP. It's perfect.
Anyway, it's like a dream come true to be able to finally put on that armor and
feel what it's like to be Samus. Pick up this game today and if it means
having to buy a Cube too, then do yourself a favor and buy one. Then
you'll be all set for when Zelda releases in February.
lol. I saw some loser on Amazon reviewing this game saying "This is the
only reason that I'd buy a GC. I hope that Xbox buys the rights to make
the next one!" Hey loser, I have a bit of news for you: Metroid is
Nintendo through and through and I don't think they'll be selling it to other
platforms. You'll be playing Mario Brothers on the PS2 before you play
Metroid on the Xbox. Maybe this was the same guy that Freeze and I met at
the bus stop on Thursday. He saw my copy of Metroid and said you have a
Cube? And I said "Yeah, it's great."
He said "I have Xbox and it's way better." I told him that Xbox didn't
have any good games (If I hear about Halo once more I'll punch someone!
It's like 2
years old
dudes!) and he said "Wait a year." Hello? Wait a year?
I thought Xbox launched with 70 titles. Oh, I remember, they were all
junk. Then he asked if my Cube plays DVDs? No, my DVD player plays
DVDs. Does your Xbox play VHS? MP3s? LPs? MDs? No.
Of course it doesn't. It's a VIDEO GAME CONSOLE! Besides you'd be a
pretty big nerd to be playing DVDs on your Xbox. I'm guess this guy
doesn't date much. Can you imagine sitting a girl down on the couch and
then saying "Hey let's watch a movie!" then pulling out your Xbox? Wow.
That's sure to impress. All you
Xbox
owners should just shut up, sit back and quietly wait for Halo II:
Electric Boogaloo! What a bunch of suckers.
Reviews that are way better than mine:
Fatman Games,
Amazon Customer Reviews,
IGN
1/8/03. First they steal
our team then they
go broke because Ottawa is not a hockey town. Thanks Sens.
Cherry could have told you that a bunch of fat cats in suits don't like
hockey. Don was just on the radio with a big fat "I told you so" to the Sens. Other than Detroit I can't think of a more hockey-lovin' town than
Hamilton (Toronto is a Leafs-lovin' town btw; not a hockey lovin' town.) And backed by Tim Horton's how could it fail? And I don't
give a damn about the Sens' record. Who cares? Even if Hamilton
lost every game it ever played the arena would be packed every game! Look
at the Leafs. Not a great team by any stretch, yet they're one of the
most
profitable sports franchises in North America. Then again, I remember
hearing back then about how this was all Bettman's plan from the start.
Give Ottawa a franchise, wait for the inevitable failure, and then move the team
to the US. I believe it. Why else put a team there? And now we have Manley
calling banks on the taxpayer's dime trying to get some cash for the team
nobody wants. Get back to work Manley you moron! Just more reasons
to hate Ottawa.
Why Canada
really lost to the Russians.
1/7/03. NEWS FLASH!! Nintendo announces a
NEW GAME BOY ADVANCE!
Coming March 23, the Game Boy Advance SP is backlit and folds into a box 3
inches by 1 inch!
1/5/03. Have you been to
Fatmangames.com?
You should! It's a one stop for video game news. FAQs, codes,
prices, reviews, industry news. And they're looking for
writers!
1/4/03. Wow! The
proudest moment of chessthecat.com!!! This is the home of
Which Chess
Champion Are You? I stayed up all night working on this thing and I'm
pretty damned proud of it. Get going! Find out who
YOU are!
Which Chess
Champion Are You?
1/2/03. I wish everyone had their monitor set to
1024x768 but they don't. And I've been ignoring that problem for a while
hoping it would solve itself but I guess it won't. Here's a crappy
fix that I literally threw together.
It sucks. But so do you if you have your monitor at 800x600. I'm
sorry. That's just how I feel. Aight. I'll come up with a real
fix. See? I care. I care.
For those of you who missed it, meet
Alexandra Kosteniuk. The Anna Kournikova of chess. Here's
her official
site.
Happy birthday to the Internet.
I'm reading these two amazing books: 'What Computers
Can't Do', and '
What Computers Still Can't Do: A...
' by Dreyfus. They're absolutely
amazing critiques of current AI research. Ever since the creation of the
computer the media has likened them to 'electronic brains' without giving a
thought to how the human mind actually works. The brain is not a digital
computer--when I say that I mean a device that calculates using only yes and no
states--no matter how much AI scientists like to say it is. And they must
like it a lot because they've been saying it since the forties. They're
going at AI ass backwards. If AI is ever achieved it will be with a device
other than a digital computer or something entirely different--and with a body
(necessarily!) Something
that we probably can't even conceive of yet. And that by
focussing on AI based on heuristics we're not 'getting closer everyday' as
scientists would like us to believe, we're actually stepping backwards!
But thinking that using
heuristics alone to represent--not simulate--intelligence is a dead end.
Humans don't use heuristics or algorithms to produce thought. In fact, it
looks like we don't process information at all. An interesting point from
the book is that the more information you give a human about a situation, the
better he can make a decision, but the more information you give a computer
about a situation, the more it gets bogged down. And more storage and more
processing power only compounds the problem rather than solving it!
AI
scientists like to think that everything Man does can be broken down into simple
instruction sets, but Dreyfus shows that that just isn't true.
What is the instruction set for determining a square? You might say take
the sides of a polygon and determine the length of each side. If each side
is equal in length the shape is a square. Fine. What is the
instruction set for determining a side then? An AI scientist might say,
take random points and determine if a line segment covers the shortest possible
distance between them; that is a side. The problem is, how do you 'take
random points'? A human mind takes a shape in it's entirety. Man
looks at things from the whole to the details where computers must start with
the details and build the whole. Give me the instruction set you
unconsciously use to determine the difference between blue and red.?
Dreyfus goes on to talk about determining what is relevant in any given
situation and how it is impossible for computers to do that. Say you
are playing chess. The weight of the chess piece has no effect on your
selection of move. But the weight of the piece would be relevant to one
manufacturing the chess set. In other words, in any given situation there
is an indefinite number of things that may be relevant and an indefinite number
of things that may be irrelevant and it's impossible for a computer to decide
between them let alone store all of human knowledge as simple, context-free, yes
or no facts.
And whether or not you like what Dreyfus has to say, the fact is,
he's right. Despite the promises of AI researchers for the last sixty
years, computers haven't been able to do anything remotely intelligent other
than play Tic-Tac-Toe. (Don't even mention Deep Blue to me. Turn off
Deep Blue's opening and ending book and see how well it plays.) Anyway,
these books are great but they're written as scientific dissertations and some
of the language is pretty heavy. They also serve as more proof of the
divine nature of the human mind and the existence of a soul. Check 'em out.
1/1/03. Happy New Year! lol! I'm so lame,
I spent New Year's in Darling!
